'Marley and Me' review

Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston (Credit: Barry Wetcher/20th Century Fox)

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Husband-and-wife reporters John (Owen Wilson) and Jen (Jennifer Aniston) adopt Marley, a rascally Labrador who’s often called “the worst dog ever.” And, oh, the shenanigans that pooch gets into!

The buzz: John Grogan’s book “Marley and Me” was a New York Times bestseller, and 115 minutes on the big screen leaves an awful lot of time for dog chasing, drywall eating and all-around troublemaking. Fortunately John and Jen decide to have kids, and he becomes a popular newspaper columnist so there’s more going on besides the dog—though the movie doesn’t give their children actual personalities and we never hear a word of John’s supposedly hilarious columns.

The verdict: Awwwwwwww. Actually, no. While appealing to pet lovers is like shooting cute-aholics in a barrel, “Marley and Me” is more of a pest than a charmer, since there’s really only so many times anyone needs to see the dog scampering around while Wilson charges behind, screaming “Marley, no!” Aggravation and repetition push out any drama and affection, so when love finally tries to poke its nose in toward the end it’s too late. All the typical home and work issues are straightforward and fine, but the film’s as flavorless as the kitchen floor Marley can't resist chewing.

Did you know? A dog training class instructor (Kathleen Turner) informs John that, “leg humping is like a virus.” Discuss what medication would best keep the condition under control.

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